Growing Older and Learning to Love

Hatred.

Something I happen to have a to have a lot of practice at. Something that has enabled pushing others away to be very easy.

But after moving out, living on my own for a little but, and seeing a new perspective on the world, a lot has changed.

Heres one thing that I will remember when I am older, I will listen to my kids. I will make sure that they are comfortable in their home, and if they happen to have someone in their life who treats them like the scum of the earth, I will make sure to do the right thing, protect them with all that I am. I won't give him chances, Because they won't change. I wouldn't spend years and years hoping for a change that will never happen. I would protect my children from depression, even if it meant I had to break my own heart.

But, hatred. Its a Dangerous feeling. One that cause you to change your viewpoint on everything you know. How can one heal this... this ones a toughie.

1- get out of that situation.
2- Remember that you are never alone and that there is this fabulous dude named jesus who loves you even if you are broken, he always has a big bear hug waiting for you.
3- Break down the barriers.
4- embrace the world

I came to Biola and met people from all around the world. People who have problems like I do, and some who don't.

But living here, I have met people that are so amazing, indescribable, strong, respectful, and just beautiful that it takes my breath away and restores my hope in love.

Learning the ropes of love for the first time is just like walking, once you take the first and most difficult step you are on your way to a magnificent adventure.

I love people. I love the way they smile, talk, laugh, hug, everything.

People are beautiful and broken, but being broken just gives us our own stories, stories that others will hear and learn from.

This World is so beautiful, one would be a fool to give in to hatred and miss out on it.

I know this post wasn't very descriptive. I just feel happy.

Hope you day is filled with holiday cheer and cute kitten pictures.

EloraSkye  Love <3

What I Miss the Most

Purdy huh? Thats my home! Well, kinda...

I really do miss it too, mostly family, skiing, riding and the forests. 

But there are a few things that I would give anything to see once more for just a minute or two right now. 

Lets just get this strait, ready?? I HATE L.A.

I dont understand who in their right mind would EVER want to live here! As my mother and I were driving around instead of admiring the views, every other comment was a "Wow.... this place is so....ugly.." Almost made me embarrassed to call this place home for a year. 

Not to mention the fact that going anywhere by yourself is a death sentence (well, at least from how its been described to me), especially if you are a girl. Of course I have to be careful in Alaska too, there are some crazy people in this world. I am just used to the kind of crazy that tries to sell me its mittens while lying drunk on the side of the road. (Just walk away, just walk away...) and so I became accustomed to carrying a knife or three with me at all times. 

But what I really want back? The Security. I always had someone to go to, and a places I could go that I knew better than my own house. I miss the walks alone in the woods, looking for things that were never there, and the sound of absolute silence when I walked outside on a winter night.

I had this spot on the roof I would always go at night when it was dark and snowing, I would sit and watch the stars (My FAVORITE) and sometimes the Northern Lights. Even if I was freezing cold I would stay outside, because the stars are something that makes me utterly and absolutely awestruck. Like true love without the man. 

I truly miss those days when I could ride my bike the 12 miles into dry land swim practice, and playing soccer. By far, the best summer of my life. 

I have some memories that I will never let go of, and places to go along with them. The Pool, Moose Mountain, UAF, lets just say high school was an interesting time. 

I actually miss riding the stupid bus home, I hated that bus. It seemed that everyone who loved to talk rode it, and most of the time I would just stare out the window and wish something exciting would happen, like the one time the Lathrop bus rolled down Chena ridge. 

I hate to admit it, but I even miss those creepy people that dress up like they are spawn of the trees, in california they call them "hipsters"

Nothing against them, I know a few people who can work that look really well, just most people go wayyy overboard. 

One thing I really really miss is giving my terrible step father absolute hell. That was always a good pick me up on a rotten day. Yes, it was me who ate all of the M&M's out of your trail mix you jerk, enjoyyyy...

Maybe this break from the AK was meant to make me realize how much I really love it there. Because I miss it a lot, even the freezing cold. 

Its made me realize that I want to go back. Maybe finish out college at UAF. 

I guess we will see. 

Hope your day smells better than cookies, and shines brighter than a supernova.

Love EloraSkye

Its Been one of THOSE Days

Hey now I know what you are thinking, attractive picture right? Yeaaaa no.

I have a question for you, Ready?

- Have you ever had one of those days where everything just seems to go wrong?-

if your answer is yes, welcome to the life of the average human being.

if you answered no, then I don't like you and you can go away. (just kidding, but seriously, what's wrong with you?)

Anyways, today it seems that every little thing I do somehow either ends up wrong, wrong, or horribly wrong. Not to mention the awkwardness of sitting in class today staring at the back of this girls head, this girl who just plain hates me because I happen to be alive. (don't you just love that?) I asked her if I could borrow some paper and she just rolled her eyes and ignored me.--- Hey lady, Im sorry for my incessant paper requests (once), maybe next time I ask for something I'll give you a gun and you can shoot me in the knee and we can call it even!

fair enough.

She had red hair too, I swear gingers are evil.

But in the spirit of the Holidays heres a recipe for gingerbread:

Anyways, 

Today I was drinking diet coke in the library and it decided to shoot out of my nose the exact moment that the doppleganger dude walked by..... oh joy to the whole freakin world. 

Some other stuff happened, but due to my immense joy for the wonderful memories, I chose to block those out and they shall never again be told to anyone. so sorry for the inconvenience.

Heres to a fabulous Monday and a plethora of rainbows and stuff.

EloraSkye 

My Thoughts on Life at This Point

Here I am, About four months into my first semester of college and quite tired.

First off- That awkward moment when you find the doppleganger of the dude you liked forever. WHAT?? WEIRD.

Transferring from high school was not too horrible a change, but coming to L.A. has been close to unbearable. (Don't get me wrong, I love traveling and new things almost more than anything in the world, but I have never been a huge fan of large cities)

I have missed my friends quite dearly, but have made new ones who I love as well.

I know a lot of people think that once they get into college they will find the perfect partner, settle down and get married. But who on earth could possibly be ready for that?? I still want to travel and see the wonders of the world, sure maybe one day I will settle down, but I still have yet to find a guy willing to travel the world with me as well. besides, I'm only 18, I have a few more years left to wander.

I started off in the Bio Pre Med program at Biola University, I really love science and all, but I have found that is has been very difficult for me to make friends in that field because everyone usually has more homework than social life. Recently, I switched my major over to Photography because I feel like thats the way in which I am supposed to take my life. I am very excited to see where that leads me, hopefully to a job.

I had a sudden urge to make a list of College Pros and Cons:

     
Pros:                                                                      Cons:
Nice people                                                           Most people know others here from before college
Good Food (Biola is known for that)                     Crowded
Beautiful Campus                                                  Alaskans girls don't really fit in with "Cali girls"
Good Enviornment                                                Miss my horse and dog more than imaginable
Nice Weather                                                         No skiing
Away from family issues                                       I want to find a real forest so bad I'm willing to pay


Yea, thats most of it.

I have found a few people that I super love, and they are amazing!!

I have come to discover that college is just like school. except you live there, and eat there, and metaphorically die there a few times.

Sometimes I wonder how people cope with all of these people. Seriously, there are so many of them, sometimes I wonder how we can all share the same air and not die because we breathe so much.

Its gonna become a real life version of the Lorax and we will have to buy fresh air in cans from an ugly midget with horrid hair.

That was my sequence of random thoughts.

Anyways, everything is dandy and I am soon to fall head over heels in love

with my biology book.


like my Mrs. Heimer  poetry class sentence break use? Yea, I miss that woman.

Tata for now pretty people, I hope your day is all giggly and stuff.

Love, EloraSkye