It's NOT SIMPLE.

Its really quite simple.

                     Not a crush.... well maybe.
I prefer to think of it as an admiration.
Skills, abilities, personality, the whole nine yards.
but why is it so difficult to let it out?
after six and a half years i'd hardly expect myself to be able to keep it a secret.
well, haha at least to him.
Not only do I feel like the world's largest creep,
I've managed to get myself stuck in a position of certain social death.
At least with him.
who is him? why do you care... Lets not focus on names.
If only life could be story book perfect.
Babies could be delivered by storks. Having children would be possible.
Or I could just watch from the tall castle window as the princess rides off with my prince into the sunset.
Ehh, not so bad. At least I got the castle. Freaking good view. Maybe a pool?
No, im not high. Its just 2:01 am and I have no idea what anything means, and i'm prone to drama. (especially after watching the notebook, ahhhh brilliant!!) No doubt i'll regret this post later.
Anyways, how do you tell someone you like them? have liked them, admired.... Whatever.... for six years six months.  without sounding like a complete creeper...... if we met in 2006... then really this would all be riding around 6-6-6.
Fabulous.

I can't wait to move.

This is gonna be one heck of a few months. Wish me luck. or a sudden onset of paralyzing illness... i'd take either at this point.



~Here's to Ben and Jerry, the two best friends a girl could have~

What is Beauty?

Is it the fashion, the makeup, and the flawless smile?

or perhaps the wealth, and fame?

Wrong.

Beauty, is the personality.
if you disagree, look at it like this;
 If you had a person, the most attractive person you have ever seen,  who demanded your heart and had a absolutely sickening personality, BUT, you also had another person who was not attractive at all, but had a sweet personality and wanted your heart the same.

if both of them were asked to sacrifice something for you, which do you think it would be? and would your feelings towards them change?

Its your choice.

Personality is not really held high as a becoming trait in todays society. It seems that physical beauty is all that really matters. But would you rather have people love you for how you look? or who you truly are?

Walk with confidence, be yourself, smile when you meet someone's eyes. Even little things like that can go a lot farther then walking down the street, looking pretty.

one other thing I also found on my search to find the meaning of beauty:

A person who is attractive but lacking in personality will only attract through the things that we don't want people to be drawn to at first sight. (you know what I mean)

A person with personality will attract through their smile, their words and their confidence.

which would you prefer?

~Here's to Greater Personality~

Why do we feel like we have to blend in?

I had a major problem with this my freshman and sophomore year. I did not want to be seen, known, or even looked at really. Freshly awkward out of middle school, I was not aware of the difference high school would most certainly bring.
     But, eventually everything comes to an end, like did my shy personality. It was if something fell off the shelf inside of me, and I suddenly needed a friend.
     So why? why do we need to feel like we cannot stand out?
My theory, is that everyone has that fear, to show thier true self and personality, but most of us do not have the bravery to actually let our light shine.
there are so many people now-days that are so consumed in their outwards appearances that they are afraid to show what is truly on the inside. For some, showing their true personality could be a sign of weakness, or perhaps they may be ashamed of who they are.

I guess what i am trying to say is, do not be afraid to make yourself different, and to let go of the stereotypical wants of society. Wear a crazy outfit, or maybe even do something that you could never see yourself doing.

Tell someone that you love them

I bet that got your attention!

~heres to your beautiful face~

So you want a life of Adventure?

No kidding, so do I. How do we even start? well, let me begin...

A life filled with adventure is really quite easy, see all you have to do is start with a dream. You can do anything, travel, meet new people, be risky, go cliff diving, push yourself until you can't anymore. But you will really only have an adventure if you are willing to live outside your comfort zone.

Imagine the sailors and pirates way back in the day, always headed somewhere, never knowing where they are, nothing but the wind on thier back, and the big blue sea. Imagine the life of pure adventure, not knowing what was next, possibly sword fighting. Who wouldnt want it?

Like Romeo and Juliet, you could have a forbidden romance.

Like Blackbeard, you could be the terror of the seven seas.

Like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, you could live out one of the greatest love stories ever known.

Adventure could be anything. To live in one, all you have to do is have the bravery to explore.


here's to Endless Adventures

When Dreams become possibilities

Stop and think for a minute, of a place. This place can be anywhere, anything. This place is where you imagine yourself being, when you are the happiest you could possibly be. This place does not have to be real, but when you imagine having the perfect life, where would you be? What would you be doing? For example, When I see myself, happier than I have even been, the most comfortable feeling ever, I see myself in a garden of white roses, Under trees, but yet sill in the sunlight. Make it even better and add in my crush of way too many years, but we will leave him out for now.
  I dream of this garden almost every night, walking through the grass, and swinging on an old wooden swing tied under a willow tree. My theory to dreams, is that they give us a taste of something that we otherwise would never experience. While we sleep, we have adventures, discover new things about ourselves, and maybe even come face to face with the things we fear the most.
    I choose to think of dreams of an alternate reality, or possibly, the life we live when we are not awake.  It could be real, or it could be our imagination. It could be that our dreams are the only adventures we will ever have. But regardless, a dream is what you choose to make it, what you choose to believe is true, and what you desire the most.

Until next time

Forever Together

That moment when you see an elderly couple, hand in hand, completely in love.

Now that's something to aspire to.

Growing old together, doesnt happen much anymore.

But a realtionship that is able to last over decades, Simply Amazing.

The love and care that went in to maintaining that relationship, Is true love.

Next time you see that elderly couple, just remember what it took for those two,

to truly flourish.

That is a bond of The Truest Love, That can never, ever

be broken.

xoxo

Two in love can make it

Having been through numerous divorces, you dont have much hope for your own future. In fact, since last week i have been pretty depressed about my future. So i realized, I need to let go of the past. Of what my parents decided to do. Because, hanging on to thier mistake only made me hae a greater chance of making the same. But i refuse, Two in love can make it, and i know i will as well.

Someday, I will see this. Romance at its best!

The forever friend

We all have that one friend, thats in our hearts forever, and that we can never forget about.
But I ask, what do we do if this friend is lost?
What if we abuse the friendship?
refuse to talk to them?
and even try to end the friendship?
I true friend stays by your side no matter what.
No matter what you do
or say
they are always there to give you a second chance.
They never give up on you
and always believe the best in you.
It may be scary for some, a relationship that never seems to end. Some people (especially me) have never really seen a relationship work for that matter. Having a friend that is so close, is frightening, and in order to protect themselves, from being left behind sometimes people push that friend away.
Why I am saying this? Because I am guilty as charged.
I am not a good friend
I make alot of mistakes.
The person I pushed away was always there for me
even though i never was for them
ive had countless second chances
and still cannot seem to get it right.
I dont deserve this friend.
I never have.
But the heart, and the dedication, and the perserverance that goes into maintaining a friendship like this, is truly heroic. Something in which i could never be capable of.
People like this friend are the people that should be looked up to
like a modern day superhero
My favorite is spiderman.

Maybe one day I will be able to understand how this amazing person can stand my constant excuses and mistakes.

so the saying goes,

"You never know what you got, until its gone."

Just a little thought for you on you cold march night.

xoxo

The Maid and the Glass Slipper

(I wrote this for english class, but thought i would share. makes you think :)

I am here,

I have been since I can remember.

You have always been my best friend.

You, born three days before me,

we tell each other everything

Our dreams, and our hopes

Anything we can think of.

Except one,

I love you, my dear friend.

But the night I was going to tell you,

you found another.

We were going to run away together,

but instead, you got her glass slipper.

She ran from you,

And I was only there for comfort

You told me she was the one,

You had only just met her.

I listened as you went on and on about this mystery girl

Every second my heart broke,

Its not fair.

I know you better,

You belong with me.

You found her.

How? A shoe fit.

You say you are so happy,

But she doesn’t know you like I do.

You wedding day is perfect,

You always told me you wanted to run away.

Get married on the fly,

No prince or princess.

I stand by the door as she gets ready to walk down the aisle,

to you, my love.

She smirks as she asks me to hold her train,

I do.